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PRIVACY POLICY

Last Updated: Recently enoughEffective Date: The moment you showed up

1. Introduction

Bigote Labs LLC ("we," "us," "El Bigote," "the guy") operates ryandavidkoziel.com ("the Site"). We take your privacy seriously. Not like, government-contractor seriously. More like, "we genuinely don't want your data because we wouldn't know what to do with it" seriously.

2. Information We Collect

Honestly? As little as possible. Here's the breakdown:

Information You Give Us: If you email us, we'll have your email. That's how email works. If you tell us your name, we'll know your name. We're not doing anything weird with it.

Information Collected Automatically: The site may collect basic analytics like page views and general location (city-level, not "standing outside your window" level). This is standard internet stuff. We use it to see if anyone is actually visiting.

Information We Don't Collect: Your passwords, your secrets, your Spotify Wrapped (that's between you and God), your browsing history, your search history, or what you said to Alexa at 3 AM. We don't want it.

3. How We Use Your Information

If we have any of your information, it's being used for one or more of the following purposes:

  • To respond to you if you reached out
  • To see if more than four people visited the site this month
  • To feel a brief moment of validation from the analytics dashboard
  • That's it. That's the list.

4. Cookies

The site may use cookies. Not the fun kind. The boring internet kind. They help the site work. You can disable them in your browser settings if you want, but honestly the site might just look at you funny.

We do not use cookies to track you across the internet. We are one person. We do not have the bandwidth for surveillance.

5. Third-Party Services

We may use third-party tools for analytics or hosting. These tools have their own privacy policies, which are longer and less fun than this one. We encourage you to read them if you enjoy that sort of thing.

6. Data Sharing

We do not sell your data. We do not trade your data. We do not whisper your data to anyone at parties. If law enforcement shows up with a valid legal request, we'll comply, but also we probably don't have what they're looking for because — again — we barely collect anything.

7. Data Security

We use reasonable measures to protect any information we have. "Reasonable" here means industry-standard encryption and also the fact that our entire operation is one person who would notice if something was off.

8. Children's Privacy

This site is not directed at children under 13. If you are under 13, please go outside. It's nicer out there. If a child has somehow submitted personal information to us, contact us and we'll delete it immediately.

9. Your Rights

You have the right to:

  • Ask what data we have about you (probably nothing)
  • Ask us to delete it (done)
  • Ask us to stop contacting you (we probably weren't, but okay)
  • Unsubscribe from anything (if we ever start a newsletter, which feels unlikely but who knows)

10. Changes to This Policy

We may update this policy occasionally. If we do, we'll change the date at the top. We will not send you a 47-paragraph email about it.

11. Contact

If you have questions about this privacy policy, you can reach Bigote Labs LLC via the contact information on the site. If you've read this far, we respect you deeply and we'd like to be friends.

← Back

PRIVACY POLICY

Last Updated: Recently enoughEffective Date: The moment you showed up

1. Introduction

Bigote Labs LLC ("we," "us," "El Bigote," "the guy") operates ryandavidkoziel.com ("the Site"). We take your privacy seriously. Not like, government-contractor seriously. More like, "we genuinely don't want your data because we wouldn't know what to do with it" seriously.

2. Information We Collect

Honestly? As little as possible. Here's the breakdown:

Information You Give Us: If you email us, we'll have your email. That's how email works. If you tell us your name, we'll know your name. We're not doing anything weird with it.

Information Collected Automatically: The site may collect basic analytics like page views and general location (city-level, not "standing outside your window" level). This is standard internet stuff. We use it to see if anyone is actually visiting.

Information We Don't Collect: Your passwords, your secrets, your Spotify Wrapped (that's between you and God), your browsing history, your search history, or what you said to Alexa at 3 AM. We don't want it.

3. How We Use Your Information

If we have any of your information, it's being used for one or more of the following purposes:

  • To respond to you if you reached out
  • To see if more than four people visited the site this month
  • To feel a brief moment of validation from the analytics dashboard
  • That's it. That's the list.

4. Cookies

The site may use cookies. Not the fun kind. The boring internet kind. They help the site work. You can disable them in your browser settings if you want, but honestly the site might just look at you funny.

We do not use cookies to track you across the internet. We are one person. We do not have the bandwidth for surveillance.

5. Third-Party Services

We may use third-party tools for analytics or hosting. These tools have their own privacy policies, which are longer and less fun than this one. We encourage you to read them if you enjoy that sort of thing.

6. Data Sharing

We do not sell your data. We do not trade your data. We do not whisper your data to anyone at parties. If law enforcement shows up with a valid legal request, we'll comply, but also we probably don't have what they're looking for because — again — we barely collect anything.

7. Data Security

We use reasonable measures to protect any information we have. "Reasonable" here means industry-standard encryption and also the fact that our entire operation is one person who would notice if something was off.

8. Children's Privacy

This site is not directed at children under 13. If you are under 13, please go outside. It's nicer out there. If a child has somehow submitted personal information to us, contact us and we'll delete it immediately.

9. Your Rights

You have the right to:

  • Ask what data we have about you (probably nothing)
  • Ask us to delete it (done)
  • Ask us to stop contacting you (we probably weren't, but okay)
  • Unsubscribe from anything (if we ever start a newsletter, which feels unlikely but who knows)

10. Changes to This Policy

We may update this policy occasionally. If we do, we'll change the date at the top. We will not send you a 47-paragraph email about it.

11. Contact

If you have questions about this privacy policy, you can reach Bigote Labs LLC via the contact information on the site. If you've read this far, we respect you deeply and we'd like to be friends.